If you were under the impression that as a parent your job was all about creating a perfect family, stop right there. We can sometimes play happy families, just look at facebook! But what you really want is a resilient family.

We all know a family that seems perfect, maybe we try to model them or copy them, maybe we even compare our children to their children. Do you remember those children when you were growing up? I do, and none of them ended up being superheroes because superheroes don’t exist and neither do perfect families.

Parents today always feel criticised. We are never doing enough. We have too much advice and pressure, too many decisions to make about schools, languages, and how we manage their free time, technology, bullying, healthy diet and image, or whether they are mindful enough?? The list is endless, when do we get to have fun?

Resilience allows you to see the best in your child and yourself. Focus on the good things as much as you can, and think about what you enjoy doing with your child, not what other people tell you. Realise that everything is a phase and won’t last forever and learn and move forward with your child, probably you can remember that happening already. Also learning how to laugh with your children is the best tonic in any family, and reminds you of why you wanted a family in the first place!

If you need a bit of extra help to get you through a tough time, please get in touch and we can work it out together. There are many ways to help your child and primarily you are the one to do that. Schools, teachers and psychologists should be there to support you so that you can give your best to your child.

Here in Barcelona Jorge Barudy is one of the leading international figures in resilience and families; his work has been an inspiration and guiding tool in my work and with my own family.

In UK Angie Hart’s work with BOing Boing and the resilience centre in Brighton has also been a guiding force in my work. See diagram.